Lie To Me
by FaeFolk
Summary: Tag to Two Minutes to Midnight. "After Castiel get Pestilence's ring, and before Dean hunts Death, they talk." Mild D/C.


**Don't lie to me, not about this. **

After Castiel get Pestilence's ring, and before Dean hunts Death, they talk.

Sam is with Bobby in the kitchen. They are making a list of what to bring on their little act of domestic terrorism. Its a short list. Castiel wouldn't know where to begin to help them organize and list explosive quantities and types. Dean doesn't want to leave him alone.

Castiel was wholly and unadulteratedly human now. Dean can see it, there is something about his posture, his eyes, even the way the few words he has said leave his mouth. Usually everything about Castiel practically screams inhuman, _alien_. But that had changed over the last year. Since he fell. But he had never lost his outlandishness. Except in the future. Except now.

There is a little of that possible future Cas in his Castiel. This one sits on the front porch looking longingly out at the sky above the scraps of metal in Bobby's junk heap. That Castiel had looked the same way at Dean, at his drugs. An addiction, a longing to _belong_, among the stars, among a people he barely understood with feelings and compulsions that he had never had before.

Dean sits beside him. The former angel slumps a little and turns to look at Dean.

"Dean." He tilts his head slightly, as if analyzing Dean's presence beside him and try to figure out Dean's intentions. His voice is the same still same, it hadn't gained the scratchy, indifferent tone he would-might-have in the future.

"Do you require anything?"

"No, uh, not really." Dean isn't really sure why he is here himself. To asses his fallen angel, to see if being human has damaged the Castiel he knew radically.

"Then why are you here? I wish for solitude."

Dean shoots Cas a pained smile. "Listen, Cas, I don't really do this, um, ever, but is there anything I can do? To help you?"

Castiel turns from him and sits for a while. He is playing with his tie, fingering the silky material as if he had never truely felt it before, even though he had been wearing the same suit for almost two years.

Dean is about to push himself up and leave Cas alone, when the man asks, "Is it always like this?"

"What?"

"Is it always this hard?"

"Well-"

"Don't lie to me Dean, not about this."

"Yes. Sometimes harder, sometimes its easier. Life, mortal life, isn't easy Cas. It just sort of is. I can't really describe it."

"How do you deal with it? _Feeling_ _everything?_ I feel like my head is going to burst."

"You don't, I mean, I guess you never really do? I'm shit at this stuff. You should talk to Sammy about this. He loves all that feelings and chick flick moments."

"I am not talking to Sam about this. I am talking to you."

Dean squeezed the bridge of his nose, trying to make sense of the angel who had too much faith in him, "Honestly Cas, I try not to feel much of anything at all. I shut out most of everything-everyone. You saw me down there. You _know._ What I did. What happened to me. It stays with you, everything that you do, everything that you ever did. Most of it you forget, most the good stuff you forget, most the bad stuff you remember."

Castiel looked up at him, he seemed confused and disheartened. "I had believed that all of god's children lived in light unless they delved into decadence and sin."

Dean cracked a wry smile, "It's not quite like that. In fact, decadence and sin are where a lot of humanity tries to force themselves to be happy. Or to try and get away from all the bad shit. We aren't exactly a logical species, we're all all fucked up. Try to create and hold on to as many happy memories as you can."

"But I have watched you, Dean, I have seen inside your soul, seen your memories and your life. You have not lead a life of joy, but it is still a virtuous one. Doesn't that matter?"

"Not really, Cas. I don't know what God and Heaven think of virtue-"

"It is one of the highest held qualities."

"Thanks, Cas. But Humanity doesn't really care much about it, unless it directly benefits them. I don't think you are really getting this Cas."

"I am capable of understanding what you say. We must create our own happiness." The angel leans in and gently brushes his lips against Dean's.

Dean closes his eyes and leans into the touch for a moment, and then it is gone.

Distantly, Dean hears a small explosion followed by a curse. He can't bring himself to move. Sam calls out for Dean's angel, and then everything is silent again. Dean opens his eyes and smiles at Cas.

When Castiel stands and turns to go, he walks with the same unrestrained power that had always lain just beneath the surface when he was an angel. He walked on, his trench coat swinging gently behind him as he walked towards his new existence.

**A/N: Don't forget to review! Um. Yeah. I am not really happy with this. The main reason is that I wasn't very happy with the episode. I thought Cas's sudden okayness with being human illogical and unrealistic. I wrote this back when it came out in may but never really got around to posting it… **


End file.
